Hi guys,
first of all - I feel so guilty for not posting in the past 2 months! Good news is, July is almost here and I'll have a lot more time to post! I will open a fashion channel on youtube as well & a fashion blog... this one's more about my thoughts!
Guess what? I bought so many clothes that I like without caring about other people's opinions, I stood up for other people, I stood up for myself - it was awesome!
Of course, I also made a lot of mistakes in the past months - for example telling two of my former friends that I don't wanna be friends no more. I did that via text message which was a mistake - they won't accept my apology for that now, and hate me, but that's okay with me. I will never regret anything and I still mean what I said, I just should've done it face to face and not on some messenger. So, a tip for your future - don't ever 'break up' with someone via text message, it hurts them, makes them hate you and is disrespectful.
But - I know my mistakes and my flaws, and that makes me strong. Always stand by your mistakes, accept that you made them and do it better next time! A mistake isn't something bad, we all make mistakes and that's okay. It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you don't deny making them.
If you made the same mistake that I made with my former friends and they won't accept your apology no more, then be okay with it because you know you made a mistake and you feel sorry and if they don't accept your apology, there is nothing you can change about that. It's okay that they don't - you did everything you could. Don't let them bring you down by saying 'you figured you wouldn't have friends without us' or 'you just say that because you feel guilty' - you know the truth.
And even if you just say it because you feel guilty - feeling guilty says you still care, obviously, and you really mean the apology.
Right now I am listening to "Soon The New Day" by Talib Kweli ft. Norah Jones, and I love it. You really should listen to it! It helps with moving on about something that bothered you for a long time.
I broke up with my boyfriend last week and I felt like crap after it, but I knew it wouldn't work out and I'm more a person who want's to explore things - I wanna have more than just one relationships, I need time to go party and make out with just some random guy that I meet, I wanna have experiences, be stupid and do a lot of things wrong because in the end, they're all stories I can tell my children. I wanna get my acting career going, be successful, party, dance, kiss, have fun - all that before I settle down.
This is my time, and it's going to be my time until I'm at least 26. If I don't have a long relationship until then, that's okay. I'm not the relationship kind of girl anyway. I care and I'm genuine with everything, and my friends are important to me and my (ex)boyfriend was and is, but it's not the right thing for me.
I know who I am now, and I'm okay with it. I'll change what I want to change if I can change it, and everything else I will accept and move on. Worst case scenario is, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. But I guess, my 'haters' will have to do that more than I will - if they think I'm a bitch, that's okay with me. Think what you want. Your opinion doesn't define me.
LOVE you guys! You are beautiful, awesome, intellegent, great, every good thing there is in this world, no matter what other people say about you! Don't ever let them bring you down!
xoxo Hannah
