I am aaaaabsolutely serious about that!!! My daddey is comin' this Friday and on Sunday we'll leave for the Roadtrip (Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Calfornia - booom!) and in exactly 4 weeks minus 2 days we'll go back to my homecountry from LAX. So excited. Just imagine I meet Jamie Campbell Bower, Jensen Ackles, Zac Efron or someone... I think I'd just kinda somehow all of a sudden get married to them. No joke. Maybe I'd be like "Hey, would you say 'yes' for me?" And then I'd just give 'em a ring and be like "I'm so happy we're eventually married!!!" (And they'd be like WTF!!!)
Naah. Let's be realistic. I gotta become an actress first, and then we'll work it out!
Anyway. Nooo lesson for today... Just wanted to say Hi and that in 4 weeks I'll start posting more often, since I'll have more time. At least I hope so ... Haha. Weall, anyway, I hope y'all are awesome and have an amazing time, and if you don't, I'll send you a virtual hug (: Everything's gonna be okay, in the end.
Looove youuuu!
xo
Sonntag, 22. Juni 2014
Samstag, 31. Mai 2014
Soon the new day.
Hi guys,
first of all - I feel so guilty for not posting in the past 2 months! Good news is, July is almost here and I'll have a lot more time to post! I will open a fashion channel on youtube as well & a fashion blog... this one's more about my thoughts!
Guess what? I bought so many clothes that I like without caring about other people's opinions, I stood up for other people, I stood up for myself - it was awesome!
Of course, I also made a lot of mistakes in the past months - for example telling two of my former friends that I don't wanna be friends no more. I did that via text message which was a mistake - they won't accept my apology for that now, and hate me, but that's okay with me. I will never regret anything and I still mean what I said, I just should've done it face to face and not on some messenger. So, a tip for your future - don't ever 'break up' with someone via text message, it hurts them, makes them hate you and is disrespectful.
But - I know my mistakes and my flaws, and that makes me strong. Always stand by your mistakes, accept that you made them and do it better next time! A mistake isn't something bad, we all make mistakes and that's okay. It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you don't deny making them.
If you made the same mistake that I made with my former friends and they won't accept your apology no more, then be okay with it because you know you made a mistake and you feel sorry and if they don't accept your apology, there is nothing you can change about that. It's okay that they don't - you did everything you could. Don't let them bring you down by saying 'you figured you wouldn't have friends without us' or 'you just say that because you feel guilty' - you know the truth.
And even if you just say it because you feel guilty - feeling guilty says you still care, obviously, and you really mean the apology.
Right now I am listening to "Soon The New Day" by Talib Kweli ft. Norah Jones, and I love it. You really should listen to it! It helps with moving on about something that bothered you for a long time.
I broke up with my boyfriend last week and I felt like crap after it, but I knew it wouldn't work out and I'm more a person who want's to explore things - I wanna have more than just one relationships, I need time to go party and make out with just some random guy that I meet, I wanna have experiences, be stupid and do a lot of things wrong because in the end, they're all stories I can tell my children. I wanna get my acting career going, be successful, party, dance, kiss, have fun - all that before I settle down.
This is my time, and it's going to be my time until I'm at least 26. If I don't have a long relationship until then, that's okay. I'm not the relationship kind of girl anyway. I care and I'm genuine with everything, and my friends are important to me and my (ex)boyfriend was and is, but it's not the right thing for me.
I know who I am now, and I'm okay with it. I'll change what I want to change if I can change it, and everything else I will accept and move on. Worst case scenario is, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. But I guess, my 'haters' will have to do that more than I will - if they think I'm a bitch, that's okay with me. Think what you want. Your opinion doesn't define me.
LOVE you guys! You are beautiful, awesome, intellegent, great, every good thing there is in this world, no matter what other people say about you! Don't ever let them bring you down!
xoxo Hannah
first of all - I feel so guilty for not posting in the past 2 months! Good news is, July is almost here and I'll have a lot more time to post! I will open a fashion channel on youtube as well & a fashion blog... this one's more about my thoughts!
Guess what? I bought so many clothes that I like without caring about other people's opinions, I stood up for other people, I stood up for myself - it was awesome!
Of course, I also made a lot of mistakes in the past months - for example telling two of my former friends that I don't wanna be friends no more. I did that via text message which was a mistake - they won't accept my apology for that now, and hate me, but that's okay with me. I will never regret anything and I still mean what I said, I just should've done it face to face and not on some messenger. So, a tip for your future - don't ever 'break up' with someone via text message, it hurts them, makes them hate you and is disrespectful.
But - I know my mistakes and my flaws, and that makes me strong. Always stand by your mistakes, accept that you made them and do it better next time! A mistake isn't something bad, we all make mistakes and that's okay. It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you don't deny making them.
If you made the same mistake that I made with my former friends and they won't accept your apology no more, then be okay with it because you know you made a mistake and you feel sorry and if they don't accept your apology, there is nothing you can change about that. It's okay that they don't - you did everything you could. Don't let them bring you down by saying 'you figured you wouldn't have friends without us' or 'you just say that because you feel guilty' - you know the truth.
And even if you just say it because you feel guilty - feeling guilty says you still care, obviously, and you really mean the apology.
Right now I am listening to "Soon The New Day" by Talib Kweli ft. Norah Jones, and I love it. You really should listen to it! It helps with moving on about something that bothered you for a long time.
I broke up with my boyfriend last week and I felt like crap after it, but I knew it wouldn't work out and I'm more a person who want's to explore things - I wanna have more than just one relationships, I need time to go party and make out with just some random guy that I meet, I wanna have experiences, be stupid and do a lot of things wrong because in the end, they're all stories I can tell my children. I wanna get my acting career going, be successful, party, dance, kiss, have fun - all that before I settle down.
This is my time, and it's going to be my time until I'm at least 26. If I don't have a long relationship until then, that's okay. I'm not the relationship kind of girl anyway. I care and I'm genuine with everything, and my friends are important to me and my (ex)boyfriend was and is, but it's not the right thing for me.
I know who I am now, and I'm okay with it. I'll change what I want to change if I can change it, and everything else I will accept and move on. Worst case scenario is, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. But I guess, my 'haters' will have to do that more than I will - if they think I'm a bitch, that's okay with me. Think what you want. Your opinion doesn't define me.
LOVE you guys! You are beautiful, awesome, intellegent, great, every good thing there is in this world, no matter what other people say about you! Don't ever let them bring you down!
xoxo Hannah
Donnerstag, 20. März 2014
Not anymore.
Hi there!
Finally, I got time again - yeah. When I'm back home in July, I will have more time to post things! But here, everything is just sooo exciting!
In the few months I spent time away from home now, I really found myself! I qualified for the State Forensics on my first tournament, and broke into finals again in my second one (without qualifying).
Honestly, now even my mom is convinced! She'll let me go to an acting school in LA as soon as I turn 18!
Okay. However. As I said - I found myself here. What that means? I'm so done playing nice. Seriously. It's just not me. I mean, sure, I like to help people, give advice and all that stuff. But I don't see the sense in trying to make people like me anymore. I wanna dress the way I like. I wanna talk the way I like. And I don't wanna hear "Aw, she's so cute" anymore. I don't wanna have a lot of friends - I just need one real friend. All the others are nice and stuff, but it's like out of sight, out of mind.
I want to wear heels, color my hair, wear the makeup I like. And I'm sick of being judged for it before I even do it, I'm sick of getting weird looks when I just talk about it. Look at me however you want to, I don't care anymore.
People say "Live your life the way you want to be remembered" and mostly interprete it as: Don't hurt anyone. Be nice to everyone. Don't say what you feel. Society is like "Be who you are" and then says "No, not like that." Honestly, I'm done.
What if I want to be remembered as a "bitch"? Maybe I want to be remembered as the girl who dressed the way she liked to, did what she wanted and cared about nothing and no one's opinions at all. Maybe I want to be remembered as the girl who cussed, freaked out, just let go of everything that made her unhappy and then stood in the rain and started dancing and shouted "Fuck it all". Maybe I just want to fuck everything and everyone and just do what makes me happy. People who love me the way I am will stay with me and the rest doesn't belong in my life anyway.
I just don't care anymore. Fuck it all. Because, in the end, who else but me will there be? The only person I can disappoint is me, and I choose not to do that.
Finally, I got time again - yeah. When I'm back home in July, I will have more time to post things! But here, everything is just sooo exciting!
In the few months I spent time away from home now, I really found myself! I qualified for the State Forensics on my first tournament, and broke into finals again in my second one (without qualifying).
Honestly, now even my mom is convinced! She'll let me go to an acting school in LA as soon as I turn 18!
Okay. However. As I said - I found myself here. What that means? I'm so done playing nice. Seriously. It's just not me. I mean, sure, I like to help people, give advice and all that stuff. But I don't see the sense in trying to make people like me anymore. I wanna dress the way I like. I wanna talk the way I like. And I don't wanna hear "Aw, she's so cute" anymore. I don't wanna have a lot of friends - I just need one real friend. All the others are nice and stuff, but it's like out of sight, out of mind.
I want to wear heels, color my hair, wear the makeup I like. And I'm sick of being judged for it before I even do it, I'm sick of getting weird looks when I just talk about it. Look at me however you want to, I don't care anymore.
People say "Live your life the way you want to be remembered" and mostly interprete it as: Don't hurt anyone. Be nice to everyone. Don't say what you feel. Society is like "Be who you are" and then says "No, not like that." Honestly, I'm done.
What if I want to be remembered as a "bitch"? Maybe I want to be remembered as the girl who dressed the way she liked to, did what she wanted and cared about nothing and no one's opinions at all. Maybe I want to be remembered as the girl who cussed, freaked out, just let go of everything that made her unhappy and then stood in the rain and started dancing and shouted "Fuck it all". Maybe I just want to fuck everything and everyone and just do what makes me happy. People who love me the way I am will stay with me and the rest doesn't belong in my life anyway.
I just don't care anymore. Fuck it all. Because, in the end, who else but me will there be? The only person I can disappoint is me, and I choose not to do that.
Donnerstag, 13. Februar 2014
Break it off.
I'm soooo sorry! So, so, so sorry. I've been damn busy, seriously, and it was just sooo much fun and I love it here and everything is just ... kinda perfect, to be honest.
I found the best acting schools ever, by the way, and they are not even too expensive! Wellllll. I'll tell you about them in the next post (whenever I'll post the next time...)
What I actually wanted to tell you, I'm having another blog called folie en rouge, which means something like "craziness in red". It just came to me, and this blog will talk about my life. I mean, amatterofact does, too, but in a different way. I hope that I'll soon be able to get a goood camera and take some fashion photos! Somewhen when I'm back in my, somewhat, home country, I'll do a blog with my best friend on fashion and best friends and it's gonna be a looot of fun, so I'll just tell you in July or August when it opens (:
In the next post I'm gonna me more motivating again, promised! Just don't have time today to express my emotions and the way I feel about things!
Love you guys! Byebye,
Hannah
I found the best acting schools ever, by the way, and they are not even too expensive! Wellllll. I'll tell you about them in the next post (whenever I'll post the next time...)
What I actually wanted to tell you, I'm having another blog called folie en rouge, which means something like "craziness in red". It just came to me, and this blog will talk about my life. I mean, amatterofact does, too, but in a different way. I hope that I'll soon be able to get a goood camera and take some fashion photos! Somewhen when I'm back in my, somewhat, home country, I'll do a blog with my best friend on fashion and best friends and it's gonna be a looot of fun, so I'll just tell you in July or August when it opens (:
In the next post I'm gonna me more motivating again, promised! Just don't have time today to express my emotions and the way I feel about things!
Love you guys! Byebye,
Hannah
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